2018

I've just rediscovered this blog after five years! I was such a fucking emotional teenager for no good enough reason, reading back on these posts (mainly the unpublished ones) i am fucking CRINGING. Why did i act like such an adult? All my deep thoughts as if i actually knew what love was at the time. HAHAHAHA. Life was so easy five years ago i wish i knew that now!

Its 2018 now, i turn 22 in nine days. I still feel lost in terms of what i want to do in my life, i did go on to study English Language and Literature (not philosophy, thank fuck) but i really really really wish i thought about university more before i went. I wish i took a gap year and figured out what i truly enjoyed and wanted to do before putting myself in 9grand debt that i probably will never be able to pay back.

I work part time in retail, i enjoy it to an extent but do not want to be stuck there forever. In terms of relationships, i had my first REAL heartbreak after being with someone for two years. It sucked but i've learnt that when you go through shit that makes it feel like your world is ending but it really really isn't. As you grow older, you learn to get through shit and power through climbing and kicking all those obstacles out of the way.

I've decided that continue to use this blog as a personal diary to see my journey! really wish i wrote more posts about my day because it was really nice reading that weekend post and actually remember being at the J.Cole concert!

50 facts about me

Hey guys!

My blog definitley lacks information about me as an individual, looks like i have no identity. This post will be 50 facts about me some of them will probably be some random shit but hey, hope you like it!

1. Every weekday for the past 2/3 years I have ate cheese and onion crisp and twix for breakfast

2. I hate milk

3. I would love to start my own charity and/or run a homeless shelter

4. When I'm out alone I get such bad social anxiety

5. I can't pronounce my R's

6. I can move my ears up and down

7. I've never had a pet

8. I'm absolutley terrified of pigeons and mannequins freak me out

9. I've only ever been to Egypt

10. I chipped my front teeth when I was younger so half of it is fake

11. I have a very fast metabolism 

12. I love taking selfies

13. I love awkward situations but only when I have the power to make it awkward *evil grin*

14. I want to start making youtube videos

15. I hate Harry Potter

16. I love reading deep novels about child abuse or racism etc

17. I bite my index finger on my right hand when I'm angry so I have a permanent mark there

18. I hate phone calls

19. I love watching ratchet american T.V shows like Bad girls club and Love and hip hop

20. I can't wait to have my own family

21. Cappuccino gives me life

22. My favourite TV shows are One tree hill, Prison Break, The O.C and Gossip girl

23. I've dyed my hair over 10 times

24. I've always wanted an industrial piercing but my ears are too small for it

25. I hate eating cold food

26. The volume button can never be on odd numbers it makes me feel uneasy

27. I feel so uncomfortable talking to people in huge crowds

28. I use to love talking in big crowds & loved getting attention

29. I hate calling people my 'best friends'

30. I hate cheese & tomato's but weirdly love pizza

31. I can never choose a favourite movie

32. My celebrity crush is Harry Styles, Paul Walker (rest in perfect peace) and Austin Butler

33. I've always wished that I was interested in politics

34. I love eye contact

35. I love when strangers say good morning to me

36. I spend 99% of my life procasanating

37. I spend 99% of my life on youtube

38. I'm allergic to dust

39. My favourite album atm is J Cole - Born Sinner and One Direction - Midnight Memories 

40. I want to get my septum pierced but my parents are against it, boooo

41. In the future, as cliché as it sounds I just want to be happy and live comfortably 

42. I regret dying my hair so much

43. When I'm lying I tend to look down

44. I hate wearing earnings 

45. I love watching prison documentaries 

46. I'm scared to go off to uni purely because I can't cook

47. I hate telling people my problems/thoughts

48. I hate the sound of people eating or breathing heavy

49. I have 2 sisters and a brother

50. Tumblr gives me life  ( nasrax.tumblr.com )

30november - 1december

It's currently the 7th december and I'm watching X-factor. Why i still watch this show? I have no idea. As you can see from the title of this post I'm writing about my weekend, last weekend. (30nov-1dec) I had no time to write during the week because of the work over load...life of a student ay! But anyways, this weekend was quite fun and i got up to a lot of shenanigans. (love that word...shenanigans)

Okay so on November 30th it was my friends 18th birthday, and me being me literally left my outfit until the same day. Thankfully I had no college that day, so I left my house at 12pm and went searching for an outfit which was a disaster. I hate shopping alone, I'm the type of person I wont ask an employee for help, I'd rather waste an hour of my life searching for an item, I get such bad social anxiety especially when I'm out alone I feel like people are staring at me, I get nervous to go into the changing rooms its pretty pathetic but I can't help it! After hours later, I finally found an outfit I was content with ( I literally had such a rushed day I didn't take a full profile photo) but I wore a maroon blazer from new look, miss selfridges disco pants, a simple vest and simple heels from primark. The party was really good besides the fact there was no music for the first hour because of the speakers complications but after that it was great and it was a memorable night.

This was me that night.

My 6ft mate, Isaac.

The smile on our faces says it all.

Some of the guys.

I unfortunately took so little photos and had no photos with the birthday girl which was a shame because she looked beautiful!

So the next day was a saturday, and as you can imagine I spent about 10 hours straight in heels so i was absolutely knackered so this was my rest day. I popped out to tesco's to go get me some munchies, but me being the tired idiot I forgot my keys and ended up locking myself out and had to wait over half an hour for my dad to come home and open the door for me. I was so pissed off and upset and just wanted to be in bed tbh!

-Le Cry-

After the whole being locked out situation, I jumped straight into bed and it was a netflix type of day. I've started two new shows; Switched at birth and Grey's anatomy so I spent the whole day watching episodes of them both whilst eating all my munchies. No exaggeration when I say I only got out of bed for toilet breaks!

Lazy Saturday.

OKAY GUYS THIS IS THE MOST EXCITING BIT OF MY WEEKEND, SUNDAY 1ST DECEMBER 2013 WAS THE DAY I WENT TO THE J.COLE CONCERT. 

Excuse the caps, but it was literally the best concert I've been too, so better than Beyonce and One Direction! I think it impressed me that much because I didn't expect it to be sooooo good, like i was aware that I'd have a good time but it was fucking out of this roof. Also it was the first standing concert I've been too. We got in the line at like 4pm, which was sort of late but surprisingly we weren't far behind. I'm 5ft 2/3 and there was like a 6ft guy in front of me who I politely asked to move to the side a bit which he did so it was all good! But yeah J.cole was a fucking VIBE, and was probably the best day of 2013 for me! 

J.cole Baby.

Nevertheless, This was an awesome weekend because it was such a good vibe and I spent it with the people I love, doing what I love to do. I live for these type of weekends and I honestly appreciate my life so much, and also 2013 has been my favourite year so far and I'm excited too see what the new year will bring!

Random

3am in the morning is the best time to write a blog, i just feel so philosophical. I was just thinking how its a human instinct  to not appreciate the smaller things in life. We believe that extravegent gestures are the only way to make us feel 'worth it'. But we tend to over look the smiles, the small but meaningful compliments, the 'good mornings' from strangers, the laughter we have every day. Isn't all this enough to be classed an extravegent gesture that we all should appreciate more. Meh, i dunno its like we pay attention to the wrong things and just hope for a bigger gesture.

Anyways thats only one of my thoughts for tonight. But enough of the deep thinking. In other news i'm waking up early to buy j.cole tickets! Eeek i'm so excited i've always wanted to see him live. I always see j.cole being classed as a 'boring' rapper but thats only because he doesn't constantly rap about how much money he makes or fucking bitches. He actually does talk about deep situations - for example his song 'Lost Ones' this is still one of my favourite songs, the way he emerges a deep situation to a whole bunch of punchlines is quite amazing. I really do hope i get to see him live.

Umm, a life update? Well i'm currently facing the complications of writing a personal statement, 'selling yourself' is much harder than i though. Umm I'm bored of college, the same routine every single day just makes me feel a type of way. I know im going to study English and Philosophy in uni, but i have no idea what career path i want to take. I slightly wish i was one of those people that have blogging as a job lol. But i would also love to do some humanitarian work in the future, possibly in Africa? Would love that. Anyways lets wait for a couple of years and see how my life works out (i hope i never forget my blogspot email and password!) 

Also, i know im young but i think about marriage a lot. I just want my own family, isn't it weird that our other half is out there creating memories of their own which we will know about one day? Awesome. 

This blog spot was a whole bunch of stuff but i just had the urge to babble on.

What a random pose!? Aha.

                 

Future

Don't you just wish that someone could hand you a book with your whole life written out so you can see what the future holds? I would definitely read that   book. I have a very anxious trait in my character so i don't do well with anticipation...especially with something so big as your future. Its weird to think that everything you do at this moment in time shapes your future in some way, everything has some sort of impact to your life whether you know it or not; could be a good impact or bad, either way it will/could be part of your character. 

Life really does have a mysterious way of working, it leaves you with hours to overthink all the could haves and should haves. It leaves you to stay up all night dwelling on a decision to make. It has you feeling; lost, confused, anxious, scared but also happy. Its a huge ball of mixed emotions. But i think the fear of not knowing what happens next is what makes everything so exciting - you're literally living in the moment! 

But thinking about the future could be a downfall aswell it leaves you overthinking and not taking actions for a very long time. Maybe having too much faith in this fairytale type future is what destroys you and leaves you with plenty regrets. 

Life is really a mysterious rollercoaster where you don't know what will happen next. Dwelling on the future won't make you a better person, taking action will. Having a fear of making the wrong decision could possibly hold you back from many great opportunities. Would you rather live a life where you make mistakes but they teach you a positive valuable lesson? Or live a life full of regrets that leave you in an unhappy negative place? You decide

Nevertheless, no matter how stressful life is, it is very exciting. Have a great life, whatever the future holds for you.

'The future starts today not tomorrow' 

Types of people i hate..

Okay, i must admit this blog post does sound negative and evil but at the end of the day we're all humans so they'll always be someone that annoys the life out of us, or something that people do that drives us insane. Here are the main type's of people that make me want to poke my eyeballs out and feed it to the homeless (i swear i'm a nice person!) 

1. That one asshole that will pick and belittle someone when in a huge group - why, just why? what do you gain from making someone feel like shit.

2. The 'this is not an awkward situation but i'll say it is which will make it awkward' person - umm..thanks for that mate!

3. Arrogant people - there is a thin ass line between complete assholeish arrogance & confidence..learn the difference please.

4. When people eat loud & slurp their drinks - why am i hearing you eat? why are you slurping? are you an animal!?

5. People that correct your grammar online - Don't correct me, if the sentence makes sense i couldn't care less if i'm writing you're or your!

6. When people stare - okay i must admit i love staring at people (most times i think you're attractive or i love your outfit)  but if you notice that i've noticed you staring at me, at least smile for crying out loud!

7. People with no manners - its not hard to say 'please' and 'thank you' - basic mannerism (is that even a word?)

8. Slow walkers - if you're old or have a walking problem, thats fine. If you don't.. YOU HAVE NO REASON TO BE WALKING SO SLOW!!

9. Hypocrites - one of the worse type's of people..just why? 

10. The 'i'm superior, im so much better than you' person - sorry..show me the contract that states you're better than me? *waits* *awkward silence* yes thats what i thought you're not superior, we're all humans.

Surprisingly the list goes on, i was meant to stop at 5 but i just couldn't do it. Having a little rant felt lovely...Believe it or not, i do love most people, i'm not an evil 'I HATE EVERYONE GET AWAY FROM ME' type of person..promise! 

The start..

At 2am in the morning i was browsing my favorite youtubers, as you do and i stumbled on one of their blogs (www.zoella.co.uk) which is an absolutely amazing blog and i totally fell in love with it and was up reading her blogs until sunrise. I'm not really one to read blog posts i'd rather just get endless entertainment from videos but once i started reading it i was absolutely glued and couldn't get enough and discovered so many other good blogs - can't believe I've been missing out! I've always admired what youtubers do because to me the thought of millions of people watching your video's and basically being a part of your life is somewhat nerve wracking, however it does seem like such an enjoyable thing to do, and has so many perks such as ; meeting great people and attending amazing events. I would love to have my own youtube page and be a part of the youtube community, but that is a huge step and i have 0% confidence for that! So yesterday an idea to start a blog popped into my head, (and here i am writing this blog post which probably no one will ever read!)but then it hit me, most blogs have a particular topic they talk about such as; fashion,beauty etc, and then it dawned to me i have no strong interest in anything - sure i like fashion and beauty but my life doesn't revolve around it nor do i have strong knowledge about either.  I wasn't going to make this blog after i realised that but then i thought what the hell! i'll just write about anything that pops into my head or that i just feel to write about! so that's what i'm doing, and whoever stumbles across this post i hope you stick with me and enjoy the random things i write about. I'm not saying i'll be great at writing posts or if anyone will even have an interest in me, but its worth a try so...ENJOY.

Oh and that is me haha! 

Twitter - @Nasraalaso
Tumblr - nasrax.tumblr.com